Sometime's its better to let go
by BlackenRosette19
Summary: Dean, unable to get rid of the guilt that a man died, might think twice when him and Sam work a case involving a emotion eater, a creature that draws nourishment, power from a persons emotions. Dean finds out some things are better to let go of.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I very much wish they belonged to me but sadly they do not -.- lol Rights go to the rightful owners! **

**Summary: Dean, unable to get rid of the guilt that a man died, might think twice when him and Sam work a case involving a emotion eater, a creature that draws nourishment, power from a persons emotions. Dean finds out some things are better to let go of.**

**Authors notes: Set after season one "Faith" and before "Route 666". Faith was an amazing episode. Dean was hurting in more ways than one and I dont know, guess I wanted to write a little something bout the pain hes feeling. Anyway, thanx for reading! This wont be the only chapter! Enjoy =D Oh and slight cussing at the end!**

He knew what he saw minutes after he had fallen to the floor. He remembered feeling something within him feel almost calm after the man placed his hand to his forehead, asking the people to pray with him. Of course he wasn't a religious man. He stopped believing in angels along time ago. When his mother had died. It was one of the many things she told Dean before he went to sleep, was that angels were watching over him. Now it just seemed doubtful. He drew the short straw this time. He was ready for death. He wasn't particular welcoming it with open arms but he knew that what was done was done but Sam refused to believe he could die and dragged him to some faith healer and instead ignored any protests Dean had on the subject. He remembered falling to the floor from his weakened body being unable to hold him up anymore. He heard his brother calling his name but he just couldn't get his eyes open. He was just to weak and felt cold. He knew Sam was at his side when he was aware of someone grabbing the rims of his jacket and shaking him. It happened to fast. Strength and awareness flooded back all at once and he gasped for air an his eyes shot open, looking around like a animal stuck in a bear trap. He let his eyes fall on his brother and then the priest and that's when he saw it. An old man, pale and sickly looking staring at him as it turned away and disappeared. To say he was shocked was an understatement but when Sam took him to the clinic it didn't compare to the shock he got from hearing his condition was no longer a condition.

"Your heart is healthy. There's no signs that there was anything wrong with it in the first place." She said with a hint of a smile.

Both his and Sam's eyes grew wide. Sam's was out of relief, Dean's was out of confusion. If anything he knew nothing was that easy and usually held something behind it. What she said next really got his attention.

"Not that given a man your age should be having heart trouble. Strange but none the less does happen."

"What do you mean strange?" He asked.

"Well there was a young man, 27 and athletic died yesterday of a heart attack."

"Thanks doc..." He said after a moments hesitation.

"Not a problem." She turned away and left the room.

Dean's attention went back on his brother. "Well. That's odd."

Sam met his gaze. He knew what his brother was thinking. He was always able to read his brother like an open book. Sighing he asked, "What?"

"You don't find it strange that I'm healed and on the same day a guy bites the dust over a condition similar to mine?"

"No. Maybe it was a coincidence. I mean peoples hearts give out all the time." He tried to reason.

"No they don't."

"Can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?" He asked.

Dean shook his head. Something wasn't right. "Because I can't shake this feeling that's why."

oOoOoOoOo

So it turned out it was a reaper and that added more guilt than anything else. Knowing that he lived and someone else died. Sam may have put the town in the rear view mirror but he couldn't. They have been driving for five hours straight, Dean's need to get far away from that place as possible had him wanted to keep driving. They stopped at motel. Dean got their room number and parked outside of their room. Sam stayed quiet. Afraid that anything he said would upset him. He wanted to talk about it. Tell Dean that it wasn't his fault that if anyone was to blame it was Sam but apart of him knew his brother probably did put some blame on him and he deserved it but he wouldn't change his decision because his brother was alive.

Sam started to get out of the car when he noticed Dean wasn't moving but remained still. "Dean?"

"I'm going for a drive." He replied, not turning to face Sam.

Sam nodded. His brother needed some space but it didn't keep him from worrying. He shut the door and went around the back to grab their things. He watched as Dean drove out of the parking lot. His eyes remained on the direction his brother disappeared into for a moment longer before going inside. He dropped their bags on one bed and set on the other, patiently waiting for his brother to return.

oOoOoOoOo

He wanted to drive for hours and never stop. The guilt was eating away at him. He wanted to blame Sammy, and maybe he did a little but it wasn't really his brothers fault. If reversed he would stop at nothing to save Sam. So he understood his motives but it didn't ease the consequences of what happened.

He pulled into a bar and decided to drink his guilt into oblivion. Even if it didn't go away, at least numbing it was the next best thing. He took shot after shot until he was feeling completely engulfed by its effects. "Another one." He said to the bartender.

"I think you've had enough." He replied, voice holding no room for argument.

Dean pulled off his brothers best 'bitch face' he could muster but he didn't have it in him to argue. Instead he got up and left. He walked unsteadily to his impala. After a couple tries at getting the key into the lock, he unlocked the door and was about to get in when he felt unease. He looked around, unable to shake the feeling he was being watched but decided to shake it off when nothing was there and got into his baby and took off back to the motel. He wasn't completely okay to drive but the motel was only five minutes away.

oOoOoOoOo

Sam was pacing back and forth. Concern written in his posture. The tension only left his body when he heard the all to familiar rumble of the Impala pulling up. A minute later and a very drunken Dean stumbled through the door. His eyes landed immediately on Sam, who was looking at him worriedly.

"How many did you have?" Sam asked.

Dean locked the door back and walked past his brother and to his bed, though stumbling ever slightly. Sam stopped him by placing his hand on Dean's shoulders, already regretting it. Dean's response was unexpected and Sam found him self stumbling backwards at his brothers uncalled for punch.

Sam rubbed his jaw. Dean had always hit hard though Sam was never on the receiving end and it actually had him wide eyed and shocked. He stared at Dean, who was obviously seizing with anger. What he didn't get was why.

"Don't touch me Sam. This is all your fault." Dean couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"What?" Sam asked still rubbing the spot Dean's fist collided with his face.

"You should have left it alone! You should have let me die! It's how it should have been!" His words grew louder.

Sam's mouth hung open. He knew what Dean was referring to and there was no way he would have let him die. "Dean I am sorry that someone died but I am not sorry you are alive. I'm sorry but I don't regret taking you to that healer. Fake or not!" He shot back.

Dean turned back around and stalked into the bathroom. Sam watched his retreating form as Dean slammed the door with enough force to make its henges' radle. Sam looked down to the floor. Sure, he felt partially to blame, it was his idea and he doubted Dean would forgive him so quickly. He laid on his bed, closing his eyes and listened as the shower turned on letting him know his brother decided to take a shower.

Fifteen minutes later and Dean emerged in a fresh pair of pants and shirt. He refused to meet Sam's eyes. Instead did what Sam did and laid on the bed, body turned away from him. He stared at his back for a moment longer before turning off the light and sinking under the covers, attention on the ceiling. He didn't think he could sleep. There was so much tension in the room that it made Sam feel costraphobic. Thirty minutes later and he was still wide awake. Dean had changed position and was laying on his back. Sam couldn't help but watch at the steady rise and fall of his chest, and listen to his regular breathing. His brother was alive and that was enough for Sam. He relieved in knowing that simple fact.

Soon he found he couldn't keep his eyes open and he joined his brother in sleep.

Dean woke up to a killer migraine and a hangover. He set up and his attention wondered over to the next bed where a his brothers sleeping figure laid curled in on himself, somewhat making him seem smaller. He rubbed a hand down his face as he remembered his and Sam's little spat. He had hit Sam out of rage and said words that he knew hurt Sam but it was spoken truthfully. If Sam had just left well enough alone and let the course of nature run its course then that man would still be alive and not dead in Dean's place. Sighing, he got up and decided to see if there was anything looking into while they were there.

Sam woke up to find Dean's bed empty. His brother was setting at the table, his hands working the laptop. Knowing already what he was doing, he swung his legs off the bed and was in a setting position. "Find anything?" He asked, his voice soft.

Dean looked up from the screen. "Yea, I think so. They found a guy dead in his apartment. They say he looked like he had the life drained out of him. Simply because they couldn't find any injuries. They are still looking into it."

"So you think its our thing?" Sam asked, standing up and grabbing a change of clothes.

"There's only two things I know of that can literally suck the life out of you. A Shtriga and a emotion eater."

A shtriga mostly fed off of siblings, children. At least that's what they preferred and an emotion eater was similar except it fed off negative emotions, feeding off of ones life force. "It's got to be the emotion feeder. Shtriga fed off little kids, right?"

Dean wrote the address down and shut the laptop. "Not exactly. Shtriga's just rather have kids. Doesn't mean they wont go after adults but it is unlikely."

"Alright. I'll shower than we'll go talk to the family." He replied.

Sam was at the door when his brother said, "Sam, about last night..."

"It's okay." He responded before he could finish.

When Dean didn't say anything else, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He didn't want to push Dean. His brother means well and he always tried to make it right between them but he knew it was his way of dealing with things. The physical reaction did catch Sam off guard but he didn't hold it against him. Dean needed it.

He stepped out of his clothes and turned the shower on. Letting the warm water hit his sensitive skin. Closing his eyes, he tried to relax his muscles but it was impossible to release the tension completely. He remained there, just letting the water run the length down his body, till the water turned cold and he shut it off and stepped out. He got dressed and joined Dean, who was now packing their things. He glanced up when he heard the door opening. "Come on. Don't want to waste daylight."

Sam nodded and they left to go speak to the parents.

oOoOoOoOo

"Mrs. Messer, I'm agent Dean Kent, and this is my partner Samuel Beckett. We would like to speak with you about your son's death." He informed flipping out his badge and flipping it shut just as fast.

She looked from one to the other before complying, "Sure. Come on in."

Dean nodded his thanks and walked in, Sam behind him. They took a seat. She looked nervous. "I already gave my statement to the authorities."

Sam replied, "We understand that, just a few questions and were done."

"Ok."

"How old was your son?" Dean asked casually.

"He was nineteen. Getting ready to turn twenty in a few weeks."

"Was he ever depressed or anything in the sorts?"

She averted her gaze elsewhere. "He was having a hard time in school."

Sam put his brows together. "Did he get held back?"

"Twice. James was slower than the other kids. He had a hard time learning and the kids started picking on him. I didn't know bout it till he told me recently..." She answered, hands in her lap.

"Anything else?"

"His father just passed away recently to. He's been torn up about it."

Sam and Dean exchanged quick glances before Dean replied, "Alright thank you for your time."

She looked up at them with confusion. "That's all? You don't want to know about about how they found him..." Her voice trailed off.

Sam gave a sad smile. "We already talked to the police about that. Thanks again Mrs. Messer."

She showed them to the door and shut it behind them. They started walking towards the car. "So the kid was depressed. I'm starting to think this is an emotion feeder. Shtriga thrive on essence, not thoughts of suicide." Dean stated.

"Yea."

"The good thing is that they have the same weakness as a Shtriga. You got to kill it while its feeding."

Sam sighed. "Bad thing is, how we suppose to waste the thing whiles its feeding. We don't know where its at or where its going next."

They stopped at the car. Dean let Sam's words sink in before mumbling, "Crap."

Sam shrugged, "Guess its back to the research."

"You are such a geek."

Sam smiled, "Well someone's got to do the research."

They got into the car and started back to the motel. The drive there was silent and Dean thought it was a better time then ever to try to make amends with Sam. "I'm sorry I punched you." He blurted out.

"Dean..."

"No, hear me out. I was angry Sam. I mean, a guy died so I could be healed and that's got me feeling guilty as hell, man. It's not your fault...not completely." He stole a side glance at him, "Put in your position I would have done the same."

Sam was looking away from him. Dean wasn't one for 'caring and sharing' and it was rare when he actually did. "Dean, your my brother. I may be younger but that doesn't mean anything. Ill still save you no matter what." He replied with sincerity.

Dean stared at the road ahead of them. He knew that Sam would go through hells fire itself if it meant saving him and that was what he was afraid of but in all honestly so would he. "How about we hunt ourselves a emotion eater?" He said with a smirk.

"If we don't who will, jerk." He agreed.

"Damn right, bitch"

**Sorry for any mistakes guys! Im leaving for Tennessee in a few days an wanted to get this up, reviews are appreciated! If ya like it let me kno, if it sux and I failed as a writer, please do say so LOL anyway thanx again!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So heres chapter two. Hope ya like it! A little hurt Dean! Caring Sam! Sorry I enjoy having Sam hurt and Dean being the one to care for him but this time I honestly think Dean needs some comforting after that episode! Enjoy! Thanx for reading!**

"Guilt is the source of sorrows, The avenging fiend that follows us around with whips and stings." -Nicholas Rowe

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Supernatural xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Sam looked through articles, news letters and other helpful sources when he came across one that spiked his interest. He was aware of some of an Emotion Eater's abilities and information but he wasnt completely knowledged on them. "Huh."

Dean was setting on the bed cleaning one of his favorites guns when his brothers surprised tone made him look up. "What?"

"I found something. I mean I knew these things fed off raw emotion but I didnt know about the tactics it used." He replied.

"Want to share that with the class?" Dean asked with a raised brow.

Sam rolled his eyes. Dean had never been one for book smarts, but street smarts he could give him credit for. "Emotion Eaters, they feed off emotion by making their victim think negative thoughts, like its their fault if something awful happened sometime in their life."

"So they get a kick out of twisting someones pain? Thats...well thats just sick."

Sam nodded. "It fuels that persons despair, making it more enjoyable. They also become stronger, more powerful with each feeding."

"Makes sense. How many people you think its snacked on already?"

Sam bit on his bottom lip. "Im not sure, besides the man from the apartment."

Dean placed his favorite gun back into the bag. "I guess tonight we'll have to go to the police station and look at Jame's file. You see if theres been anymore deaths while I go to the nearest restaurant for a burger...and pie." He decided.

"Yea im surprised you hadn't already and dont you mean break into the police station?" Sam corrected smoothly.

"Whatever dude. I'll be back." Dean put his jacket on and grabbed his keys from the fridge. "Want anything?"

Sam was already on his laptop looking up any news about recent deaths similar to Jame's and didnt move his eyes to Dean but replied, "No, im good."

Dean shrugged and walked out of the room. Sam listened as the Impala's engine came to life as it soon fading out and disappear with his brother behind its wheel. Sam leaned back as he was left alone with his thoughts. He hada bad feeling about the case. He and his brother, mostly Dean, had been on edge since leaving Colorado. Sam was more than glad to be leaving the events that occured there behind as soon as they were in the impala and speeding in the opposite direction but his brother, as much as he wanted, couldn't and the fact they were dealing with a creature that devoured that kind of a emotion had him wondering about Dean. He was like becon for it right now and now that Sam thought about it maybe letting him walk out that door wasnt the smartest idea.

Then again forcing Dean to stay was far from being possible. He would just have to keep an eye on him. Sam continued to click away at the keyboard. Clicking on a link, it popped up a video and he quickly pressed play.

"Its Friday, Augest 2nd when dispatch was called to the scene of an accident involving a young teen."

"That was a month ago..." Sam muttered to no one in particular.

"The vehicle was found in the river, having driven off the bridge. The body of eighteen year old Daniel Burnes was found dead in the drivers seat. Death yet to be known and the cause of the accident is still under investigation. Until farther notice. The funeral will be held by friends an family on the tenth."

Sam watched as the women cut out and the video stopped. It was something worth looking into. The video was uploaded a month ago and never up-to-date. It only took him a few minutes to find the adress of the boys family. He wrote it down and decided to call Dean.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Supernatural XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Dean walked through the store of a miny mart after stopping at the restaurant, deciding that later that Sam might be hungry. He picked up a candy bar and a bag of chips along with a six pack for himself before checking out.

"Well, hello beautiful." He whistled, making the young blonde turn every shade of red.

She looked to be in her early twenties, built just the way he like them. Slim and slender. "That'll be $10.45." She leaned across the counter, in which had Dean looking at the low cut shirt.

"Do they make you to go?" He asked, licking his lips.

If anything he could use a night of fun, unfortunately his cell phone chose that exact moment to ring. _Worse__ timing, Sammy,_ he thought before paying her and getting his change back. "Thanks." He said with a wink.

Once he was at the impala, he dug out his phone and answered it. "Sam, you really do got the worst timing."

"Sorry if I got in the middle of you picking up a girl."

Dean could imagine the eye roll. Sam knew him alright. "What is it."

Dean listening as Sam explained about a accident out on the bridge an how a teen died. "Im going to go talk with the parents."

"Good idea. Im heading back."

He closed the phone back. He stopped short at grasping the doors handle. Just like the night before, he couldn't shake the feeling someone was there but once again he couldn't see anything as he looked around. Hes eyebrows came together. He grabbed the handle and threw the door open and got inside. Something had him stopping from starting the ignition. A certain feeling had him close his eyes. A feeling of dread, self loathing.

_Its your fault hes dead. Your suppose to save people, not kill them._

Dean's eyes shot open and he was looking around. Then he realized the voice wasn't around him. It was in his head. He shook away the words, trying to deny their truth when it once again repeated,

_Your fault._

His hands tightened around the wheel until his knuckles turned white from the pressure. He was to blame. He killed an innocent man. Maybe not by his bare hands but it was his fault all the same. He started to feel anger. At Sam. At himself. Angry at Sam for not listening to him when he made it pretty clear he didn't want to go no where near that fake healer! Angry at himself for not being able to put up more of a fight.

His eyes widened in horror. Did I really just think that? No. That was wrong. How could be be mad with his brother? He shook the thoughts from his mind and started his baby and drove away from the store and back to the motel. Still shocked from the unwelcomed words he had just thought.

===========Supernatural============

Sam knocked on the door to the Burnes residents. Waiting patiently until the door opened. A old women stood in from of him. "Can I help you."

"Yes, I'm an agent. Samuel Beckett. I was hoping you would answer a few questions about your son that died a month ago?" He replied showing his badge.

Her face twisted in one of sorrow. "His mother died a long time ago and his father took away after the funeral..."

"Could you answer them then?"

"Please, come in."

"Thank you."

They set in the living room. The lady brought him a cup of coffee and set it on the table in from of him. He nodded his thanks before asking, "Are you a relative?"

She shook her head. "House keeper."

"Do you know anything about what happened that night? If Daniel was maybe upset or anything?" He asked casually.

"The night he took off, he seemed fine. He didn't plan on going anywhere that night but then James called and Daniel said he was going over to stay the night."

Sam's brow rose. "James?"

"Yes. James Messer. They were best friends." She replied as if it were a simple question.

So there was a connection of some sort. "Ok. What else."

"They don't know for sure what happened. This is a small time and it wouldn't surprise me if the police didn't try harder to find out what happened. God knows they didn't even move the car. It still lays exactly how it fell..."

"They didn't bother to take it in for evidence?" He asked more to himself.

The whole situation seemed odd. She shook he head yes. That was all he needed to know before standing up and saying, "Thank you for your time."

"Promise me you will find out what happened...his father deserves to know." She stated sadly.

Sam offered her a smile of seniority, "We will find out what happened."

"Thank you."

Sam gave her one more smile before leaving. When he arrived back at the motel, he found Dean asleep on his bed. Sam noticed the bag on the table with a candy bar and bag of chips. No doubt for him. He didn't want to wake his brother up but Sam couldn't explain to need to get the hunt over with. Something felt wrong. Like 'something bad is about to happen' wrong. So he went to stand next to the bed and woke his brother up, "Dean. Hey man, come on we got to go check something out."

Sam didn't know whether or not if Dean mumbled, stupid kid brothers or leave me alone but either way he slowly turned to Sam and opened his eyes. "Really man? Can't let me sleep for like an hour?" Dean complained.

"Sorry Dean but no. The faster we get this over with the better."

"Jeez what's got you all worked up, sasquatch." He wondered as he he got off from the comfort of the bed, groaning with annoyance.

"Just, trust me on this."

It was close to night when they reached the bridge. Dean put her in park and shut her off. "So the feds didn't bother with the wreckage?"

They got out of the car. Flash light in hand. "Thats what she said."

"Well I aint beating around the bush, seems a little strange though."

They spotted a walk path in the weeds leading down to the river. The reached the car in five minutes stop. The paint had started rusting due the water surrounding it. It sasnt deep and it only came up to the cars doors. It laid on its top, wheels pointing to the sky. "What exactly are we looking for here?" Dean asked.

"I dont know but I didnt see any tire tracks on the road."

Dean put two and two together. "You think he didnt hit the brakes."

Sam stared at the wreckage. "Well given the ammount of speed he was traveling theres no we he wouldn't, unless it was intentionally."

"You said he was friends with James right?" Sam nodded. "Think about it. James died because the emotion eater latched on to his emotions. You dont thin ke had anything to do with it?"

Sam thought for a moment. "Maybe."

"One way to see if this was really a accident." He said walking towards the vehicle.

Dean was shining the light over the car. Sam doing the same. They couldn't get on the inside due to the water. After several minutes they found nothing. When they were about to call it quits, something caught Sam's attention. Something next to the wheel. "Dean."

Dean put his light on Sam who had his light shining on next to the wheel. Dean followed it and he saw it immediately. Moving towards it, he grabbed the brake line. He examined the cut in it. Sam was looking at him. Knowing exactly what caused the teen to propel to his death. An accident that wasnt an accident at all. "Brake lines cut."


End file.
